Dear Aunt Anna,
I know this sounds shallow, but my girlfriend uses really bad grammar, and it drives me nuts. To the point that I'm thinking about breaking up with her. I am overreacting?
Militant Grammarian
Boston, MA
Dear David,
Listen, if it bugs you that much, either buy her a copy of Strunk & White or break up with her. I don't really give a damn either way. Maybe grammar really is that important to you (I feel this is unlikely). Or maybe you've decided to fixate on this particular issue because it gives you a reason to break up with her while sounding less like a dickhead and more like an over-educated, snobbish jackass. I'm not really in a position to say. Either way, I'm guessing you're both better off if you break up with her.
Also, if that was meant to be a clever little Infinite Jest reference, I think you have answered my question definitively*. Jackass.
Aunt Anna needs her medicine, so all of you go away now.
*I apologize to all three of the tolerable people out there who are still quoting Infinite Jest.
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